Love.
I know that I am so full of love.
The love and guidance I get from our Holy Father from above. The love I am getting from my Mama and Mamane and the sisterly acts and love from my brother, ofcourse! We may not be as vocal but I can feel the love within the Family. Hey! That should fairly be enough! But why am I posting this?
It's about being unwanted and being unimportant outside of the house.
Sure we get the treatment we're given by our relatives but what about from friends?
No! Never fair! Never unconditional. And I am aware that I am creating my own problems. I grew up well, I was raised the best way my Mama and Mamane can. Apart from that I was nurtured from my environment because I myself, know that I observe a lot. I believe that yes, we are where we live, we are what we see, we are what we read, we are what we eat. They also say, show me your friends and I 'll tell you who you are. I insist. I am not who my so called " friends" are. I am not.
I have met a lot of people already. From my gradeschool to highschool, college and work. I have met different kinds of people. I have been exposed to a lot of different practices good and bad. I have seen the worst and the best moments of everyday in every place I go. I have also gained good friends, loyal friends, friends who used me and took my kindness with abuse. I have met people who have not believed in what I can do. I have met people who have believed I am great that I can do almost anything I desire to do just like how my Mama and Mamane thinks of me.
Let's say, Yes! I do have these so-called friends! Some have stayed and communicated through texts it's because I text them first. Some have streamed over my facebook account and still communicated through chats like I do to them because it is the least communication that we can do to maintain the friendship we have started. But more then a hundreds have moved on with their lives and didn't check on me but I still check out on them. I have met girls whom I ended up treating them like a sister of my own. Then there goes the next few lines of why I am posting this up!
I don't have a biological sister. I do have a brother. I am the type who have wished I had a sister whether it be older or younger. Most of those I have met were younger than me so I treated them like a little/ younger sister. Where I'd feel like I am totally responsible for them outside their house. I take the job as my own. Voluntarily.
I end up hurting especially when they move on with their lives and I'd feel as thought they have forgotten me and what we used to have. Aside from treating them as a sister and because they're from another mother, it's always going to be as though, they're your bestfriends. Because they aren't my sister.
I do feel bad when I try to reach out but don't get replies from the texts I send knowing that person would always have her phone with her. Just recently " seen " messages on facebook causes frustration to me! That person literally read my messages but did not mind to reply even a single hi or hello. Yes! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! That feeling that occurs in me thinking I shouldn't have done it! I shouldn't have reached out! Those ex bestfriends that you speak to a lot before but rarely notice you this days but keeps on updating their facebook frustrates me even more! This frustration that I feel did not happen after one attempt of trying to reach out, no! It happened a lot of times. So many times I try to reach out but I get nothing!
It's true! People will stick to you but leave you after they have gotten all the benefits they could get from you, also leave you when they no longer need you.
I hate that these things happened to me! I didn't know that being nice can lead you to so much frustration. Why do people do this? Why haven't I met people with loyal hearts?
I am just thankful I have my family with me! I have learned to not care anymore for those people who have left me. I will look forward and attract good people and give my loyalty to people who will be loyal to me.
I will focus on people who likes me and value me esp those people who look out for me. I will focus more on people who never took me for granted. I will focus on people who give love and care to me. I will have to build my walls for negative and heartless people.
Thank you Father for guiding me and leading me back to where my heart belongs.
Xoxo,
MK
