Check My AUGUST 20 2009 Post

AUG 20 2009. "i started opening up to humanz." 

🤣🤷🏻‍♀️🙈🤦🏻‍♀️

...and my world was a roller coaster ever since.

Ga-fangirl ra jud ko way way way back then. It's my kind of fun. I stopped because I got teased for not being social enough to people im with but i was very interacting so well with netizens. I'd go to the nearest internet cafe ( year 2002 onwards) after school hihi usahay makaingon ko peaceful to ako life ato na time. I was happy. At peace. No dramas, way suya, way chismis, way away, wala ra. and to think, people call up my attention all the time so I had to step out of what im reading or looking at on the net to talk to people. And then when I got used to talking to people that's when I realize they don't like talking diay. They don't wanna be asked how they are, what's up with their lives, who they're out with, and whatnot. They just don't. Unless it's you who they wanna talk to.  Everyone's attitude is way confusing. Either they want you around or not or they ignore you for so long and when they are bored that's the time they call you up. Or worst, they only talk to you when they need something from you. 

It is not a good habit.

I have to be honest and admit that I fell into that very bad habit. I used to think it is right? But eventually I thought that it is draining. You get exhausted just thinking the role of the person in your life at the same time, people you actually are with having experienced that habit from you would question you. It's a cycle that happens in anyone's circle. And I do not like it. 

Over the past years that I have been MIA. It felt like I was in a class. Reality as you call it a  Subject. And I keep having very great realizations everyday that is surely going to help me for the next day. And I am still learning everyday.

I have experienced happiness, overwhelmed by everything around me. I felt so much Pain, experienced betrayal. I was judged, mocked, bullied, used, confronted by my attitude, I was embarrassed. I over react, I was questioned, I was named or labeled plastic or coward,  not a real friend. Name it. We all get to experience it believe it or not. In any way, we do. And we actually end up, not doing things we used to do because we get so pre occupied by things in our head. We experience delay in everything we do, just cause we are emotionally unstable. And people would say go find a boyfriend or a girlfriend, go somewhere, but you stay where you are and what you are and not move yet. Simply because you are stucked. And it is not a bad thing. And as they say, the common line, ya say it.... It is okay not to be okay. But it gets better and better. You become better in time. And You will heal. I will heal.  We all just experience the same things in different times in our lives.

Happy 10 years to my blog!!!